United States Olympians like basketball star Anthony Edwards got an early look at Call of Duty: Black Ops 6 today, and I am not salty about it at all.
I’m sorry. I just lied. In case you couldn’t tell by the headline, I am bitter and jealous about it. I’ve been sweating my buns off in my Herman Miller, wishing it was the end of the month already so I could play the new CoD. But I am not an extremely gifted athlete, so here I rot.
Not only did Edwards sign a five-year, $260 million contract with the Minnesota Timberwolves in May, and not only is he an elite athlete representing his country, but he is beating me at my own job right now and playing CoD early. And he is only 23. You could say he’s winning at life.
But is he winning at CoD? I’m curious to know how the games are going. What do the guns feel like? How is omni-movement? Are the maps classic Treyarch? Did he get to play Zombies, or was it just multiplayer? Is he ready for the game vs. Puerto Rico tomorrow? What am I doing with my life?
Edwards is averaging 12 points a game for Team USA, good for third on the team. Who’s one and two on the team? Oh, you know, just Kevin Durant and LeBron James, two legends of the sport. Nobody important or anything.
Black Ops 6 will debut later this month at Call of Duty Next on Aug. 28, and the game’s early access beta begins four weeks from today on Aug. 30. By that time, Edwards will likely have a gold medal, and I will still have not played the game yet.
Some of us are just built different. I, for example, am built like melted ice cream.
